


Don’t Do Love // Pink to Blue

by gaybarn



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: M/M, Other, benry uses he/they/it/xen, fic for my boyfriend and i, frenrey, gordon uses he/they/pup/pups, neopronouns for gordon and benry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:47:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29169825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaybarn/pseuds/gaybarn
Summary: a frenrey fanfic based off the song “oh no!” by marina! and the diamonds
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman, Gordon freeman - Relationship
Kudos: 18





	Don’t Do Love // Pink to Blue

**Author's Note:**

> my boyfriend’s a gordon feetman fictive n im a benry fictive so. yeah, boom, gay

“Don’t do love, don’t do friends.”

That’s what Benry was taught. He was a security guard, and he had to report everything. He had to stick to the code. Had to stick to the guidebook. But... feelings can’t be stopped, can they? They never did feelings. From day one, way back in Xen, it was fight to survive. You live or you don’t. That meant sacrifices, no feelings. Towards anyone. 

But goddamn, that fucking scientist.

A 27 year old MIT graduate, fresh outta school. He had dark tan skin with freckles, reddish brown curly long hair (with light colored streaks) that reached down to his mid back, often tied up in a ponytail. He had a “dad bod”, according to others, and that only helped with the conflicting feelings Benry had. At first, it was teasing. It was a small crush. But as the journey through the Black Mesa Research Facility went on, the feelings grew into something… stronger. If even possible. Is that possible for an eldritch demon god? Probably. 

(“Howdy. Hey. How’s it going, everybody?”

“Go right through sir, looks like you’re in the barrel today.”

Woah, wait

“hey.”

“Huh? Huh? What’s- what’s wrong, sir?”

“can i see your. passport?”

“My passport?”)

Now, the team was in a large room full of boxes and barrels, along with pillars in the center holding up the ceiling. The whole team was exhausted, which meant complaints. Dr. Coomer kept repeating “Gordon, I’m tired” over and over, while Bubby whined about how his legs were going to collapse at any moment. Tommy seemed fine, somehow, he never did complain much. Gordon didn’t even care how Benry felt right now, not with the metallic extension to his right arm. 

Gordon leaned against a large box, falling down to the ground as exhaustion hit him. He ran a gloved hand over his face, wincing slightly at the texture of the HEV suit glove. How long has he been in this damn suit now? Long enough to know that there’s tracking chips in it, long enough to get his arm chopped off. His arm being cut off was the first time he’s felt anything (sewage water, in this case) other than the inside of the HEV suit in so, so long. It pained him- for a number of reasons. The scientist sighed and put his one hand back down onto his lap as he looked at his feet, swaying them slightly. His attention, and gaze, however, shot up when he heard a certain painfully monotone voice.

“What on fucking earth do you want now, Benry?”

“benny tired. want, uh, want a nap? rest? maybe a kiss? lil smooch?” 

Gordon laughed a tired, sarcastic laugh. Damn this bitch. “Haha, no. I am not kissing you.” 

“aw man. why not? sounds uh, sounds a bit homophobic, bro.” 

“Yeah, sure, whatever. Fuck off. I’m not fucking talking to you, especially not after-“ Freeman lifted up his gun arm slightly, metal clinking coming from the movement, “this.” 

“bro, that uh, that wasn’t my fault. you’re a clumsy lil boy, yknow? your fault you lost it, man. not cool, don’t blame me.”

“Don’t- don’t blame you? For this? For getting my FUCKING ARM CHOPPED OFF? Yeah, I think I will fucking blame you! You fucking caused this! You and Bubby!” 

“nahh. s’not cool to blame ur friends for ur faults, feetman.” 

“Fuck. You.” 

Benry didn’t respond to that, and instead let out a “hmph” and turned away. He walked off out of the main area and into a little corner of the room where he flopped down and stared away at the wall. What a fucking weirdo. Hm. Instead of worrying about the strange security guard, Gordon turned to the rest of the team once more. They were all laying down by now, and Coomer was already out cold, face-down on the ground. Bubby was just glaring at Gordon, while Tommy looked where Benry went with… sympathy? How the fuck? Tommy did always like mean people. 

“M-Mr. Freeman, that won’t.. that wasn’t too kind. M-Maybe you should go talk to Benry?” 

Tommy asked, now facing Gordon. Dammit, said man sighed. Tommy was using “puppy-dog eyes”. Gordon groaned, dropping his face into his gloved hands. He took a few moments of silence to think- not really thinking, more just repeating in his mind ‘I hate it here I hate it here I hate it here’ till he had enough. 

A few seconds later, the orange and black suited man stood up slowly. His face was darkened as he walked past the group and over to Benry, feet thumping against the ground. Once near the strange being, he stood before them, not moving. Just looking down at Benry’s body, not daring to look at their face. 

“God. You okay?” 

“don’t fucking talk to me.”

“Yeah, sure, bud. Gladly. Tommy just wanted me to check up on you, so blame him.” 

Benry paused for a moment, processing. He slowly looked up at Gordon, small drops leaking from his eyes, barely visible. Multicolored orbs could be seen inside his mouth, wanting out, wanting to express their emotions. But Benry kept its mouth shut, sharp, discolored teeth clenching. 

“man fuck you.”

“You fucking wish.”

The alienoid didn’t respond, instead looking back down at his lap. It fiddled with its clawed hands as awkward silence filled the air between the two. Finally, after many long, painful moments of silence, Gordon spoke up. 

“I didn’t... I just… I’m sorry, Benry, okay? Is that what you want to hear? I’m sorry.”

“mm.”

Gordon sighed, running a mitted hand over his face yet again. “You’re not gonna respond to that? Huh?” Still, no response. Benry picked at some dirt on the ground while the MIT graduate continued to watch him, brows furrowing.

“Really, man?”

“‘s kinda mean, what you said, man. s’not my fault the bootboys lied to me. i thought they’d just. slap you on the back or somethin. not chop your arm.”

“That doesn’t… y’know what? Whatever. No more talk about the arm, okay? Are you okay?”

“can’t be hurt. i’m not human.”

“That doesn’t… whatever. What I mean is, what’s wrong? You’re just… moping in a corner like a toddler.” 

“‘m fine.” Benry lied, yellow eyes not looking up to meet Gordon’s green eyes. He was most certainly not fine. Would you be if your crush said something like that to you? Nah. The man in the orange and black HEV suit let out one of his famous sighs and crouched down next to Benry, leaning his back against the cold wall. Not that pup could even feel it, thanks to the HEV suit. 

Gordon looked over to Benry, examining the other’s side profile. Now that pup was actually looking at him, taking in every detail on the creature’s face, he realized how inhuman they really seemed. Their skin was a paler color and they had cat-like yellow eyes with an almost raccoon-like mask covering their eyes up to their head- it was like a void, pitch black. The scientist gently lifted up his gun hand, going to put it on the other’s shoulder, before putting it back down to his side. Right. Gun arm. No arm. Instead, pup resorted to turning and placing his one arm on the other’s thigh as a comforting gesture. 

“Benry. We’ll get outta this hellhole, okay? And you can play your… Heavenly Sword and get your Playstation Plus and whatever the fuck.” 

“don’t wanna leave. wanna stay.” with you. As the security guard opened his mouth slightly to speak, pink and blue colored orbs left his mouth. ‘Pink to blue means I love you.’

“I- No, you don’t, okay? Outside is better. Better than this place.”

“you don’t understand, feetman. i don’t wanna leave. i wanna say here with you, okay??” Benry snapped, tears threatening to leak from its eyes, a pained, pitiful express on its face.

“With me? Wh- why?”

“cause i fucking love you, gordon! god! i’ve- i’ve given you so many hints! the kissing references? why do you think i did those?”

“I- I thought you were trying to mess with me, Benry!”

“no i. i’m fucking in love with you, okay?”

Gordon wouldn’t respond. Pup couldn’t. Pups’ mouth opened and closed like a fish above water. At the response (or rather, no response), Benry brought its legs up against its chest, wrapped its arms around their legs, and buried their face in their legs. 

“‘m sorry, i’m sorry. i was- they said to not fall in love, not have feelings. they said to focus on work ‘n report everything. but i fell.” Benry mumbled from where his face was buried between his legs. 

“No, I-“ Gordon paused, sighing. “Fuck it.” 

And with that, said scientist grabbed Benry’s face from where it was hidden and brought his lips against the alien’s. Gordon kissed the other, hands gently cupping the other’s face. Pup didn’t care that he could obviously feel tears on his hands from the other’s tears. Benry didn’t care, either. Their yellow eyes were wide open, shocked and looking at Freeman. However, xen wanted this. Really wanted this. Benry had dreamed of this, pondered this, wondered how it would happen. But… here it is. It’s happening. So, they leaned into the kiss, too, and god (haha), it felt like heaven. 

After a few minutes, the two parted. Gordon didn’t know about Benry, but pup knew he had to breathe. He slowly locked eyes with the other as they separated.

“Do you feel better now?”

“i.. yeah, i do. uh, thank you, man.”

“Y’know… I’ve kinda felt the same. About you. I didn’t know what it was at first but… I do now? Yeah.”

“really? no lies bro?”

“No lies, bro.”

“fuck yeah.” Benry replied, xen’s previously sad expression turned into that of a smile, well, as best a smile as his monotone face could muster. They had always looked at Gordon’s face, admiring pup’s features, etc., but now xen really could. They noticed little freckles on his face, the shade of green his eyes were, little strands of hair falling over his face, and his smile. Pup was smiling, too. Benry felt like he fell even more in love when he saw Gordon’s smile. It felt… safe. Warm. It felt like home. 

Gordon brought his fist up to his hand and cleared his throat, looking back to the group and watched as they discussed with each other; distracted. Good. The 27 year old pointed his thumb at the group, raising his eyebrows. “We should uh, head back.” 

“yeah, yeah we should.”

“Shall we?” Gordon stood up with a groan and dusted pup’s suit off. He then, once standing up straight, extended out his one arm and reached his palm out for Benry to take. And so, the yellow-eyed creature did. Freeman walked on ahead to the group, while Benry stayed back and watched Gordon walk. He stood for a moment and processed everything that just happened, smiled, and let pink and blue orbs leave xen’s mouth. 

Pink to blue means I love you.


End file.
